I was at work, on the late shift, 2 weeks ago when I noticed I had several missed mobile calls. I excused myself from the patient's room and went to a quiet area to return the calls.
"Who's dead?", I asked jokingly.
Wrong question to ask.
My friend of over three decades had been found at home; he had died alone, save his big, furry canine friend. No one had discovered this for days.
That had always been one of my greatest fear when I single and living alone. Sure, I had tons of friends and a great office job, but who really, and how long would it take, for someone to notice your absence?
My friend J was a rare bird. A kind, gentle soul who was more bookwormish than me. He was a perpetual student (was he afraid of the world outside of university? did he enjoy the constant questioning of younger students and peer professors?) will we ever know?
J was kind to my as a child, even allowing me to be on his team when "Trivial Pursuit" came out to the world. I'd like to think as a 12 year old I answered enough questions correctly to do him proud.
The Catholic Funeral Mass was over 2 weeks ago but the "tributes" seem to continue; the emails, the postings on his Facebook page, the family dinners and get togethers...
Can you ever say goodbye properly who was such a large figure in your life? One who shaped parts of you? Your reading lists? Your ways of thinking and re-evaluating the world at large? Challenging your ideas and making you rethink your position on a manner; but in such a gentle, subtle way, it happened before you knew it.
Allons-y, my fair friend. Hopefully there is a perpetual authors' convention and baseball game in the great beyond for you.
You were loved. You are loved. You will be continued to be loved.


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