"Mommy, what is a wet t-shirt contest?"

On our way to the market the other day, I drive past a bar with a sign advertising a "Wet T-Shirt Contest". My children ask from the backseat, "Mommy, what is a wet t-shirt contest?"

I sigh a heavy sigh. Do I explain? Do I ignore? Do I jump out of the car while it is still moving?

"Well, it is a contest where women wear white t-shirts and then they get wet so men can see the women's breasts."

3 of my children answered swiftly and decisively. "You do NOT show your privates in public!" "Who would do that?" "That is dumb"

Another child pipes up. "What is the prize?"

Uh oh.

"The sign didn't say, honey."

"What is it usually?" (because they assume, (why? how?) that Mommy has been to such an event)

"I think they hand out money. Why? Would you show your privates for money?", come the words out of my mouth, tumbling into space, wishing I could grab them and shove them back into my mouth.

"Well, $20 isn't enough", declares D., "if it were, like $100, I'd do it."

Her fellow travelers admonish her.

I sigh and wonder if I started drinking when I got home if I would ever be able to stop.