"Fading the Aide"

My one daughter, C, is Aspergian. She has had a one-to-one aide since Kindergarten; I fought tooth and nail for her. I had paid an educational advocate, wrote long emails and letters and made many visits to the school district's Special Education Department. (did I mention I am a Momma Bear?)

A couple of months into Kindergarten, and after the school district ending up paying a psychologist I chose to evaluate C (which was not cheap for them), she got her aide! Mrs. A was awesome!

Through OT and Speech and with the help of her aide, C started to make friends, learn some basic conversation skills, how to "read" social situations and just BLOSSOM! It was wonderful!

One day, this current school year, C needed braces for her teeth so the husband and I both took her to the orthodontist for extra reassurance. (us? her?) We get to school to drop her off and Mrs. A met us in the office looking a little upset and ushered C off to class. The principal came out of his office and asked us to come in and talk with him.

He told us (this was on a Thursday, mind you) that Mrs. A was being moved to a new job in the school building and her last day with C would be tomorrow and Monday would be the "hand off/transition day to the new aide". Um. How the hell do you give a kid (and an overbearing mom) 1 1/2 days (plus a very long and painful weekend) to prepare for such a HUGE change?

If you know a person with Aspergers, especially a child, a disruption from a 2 year routine with no notice was terrifying. C thought Mrs. A didn't like her anymore; she had done something wrong. It was an awesome weekend.

The school gave C a new aide, while sweet, really just follows her around all day and isn't really C's buddy. She doesn't try to push C outside her comfort zone and try new things.

Tomorrow is an IEP meeting to discuss the "issue" of fading the one-to-one aide altogether. I am scared. Is C ready? Am I ready? Her grades are spectacular! She will still have OT and Speech Support but the aide will be gone by the end of the school year and come September (3rd grade) there will be no aide at all.

Is it time to let her fly solo? Am I holding her back by being so resistant? Who knows. The Special Ed Director (who hates me thoroughly) tells me it doesn't have to be forever if it doesn't work, but those of you with IEP kids know: once something is removed from that IEP, good luck getting it back.